Tag: Black coffee

K: Daily Communication

Lordy, how time flies. These are starlings, according to AI interpretation of the following prompt-craft: hundreds of starlings flying repetitive motif, artwork by jean Arp, barclay shaw, otto dix on newsprint, drone view, cinematic lights –no blur –stop 98 –ar 12:4 –v 2

Learned: Safeway is shopped so hard in the first week of the month during storms that the website can’t keep up, but the spendy, better quality bread was still available. When my body pain is ever-present, my spirit droops when on my own. I am interested in the health benefits of going dairy-free and plant-based, but I am still not interested in maintaining any kind of extreme long-term diet plan. That if it is made with sugar, it’s not for me. 3.

Grateful for: Simple, well-made bread that toasts and butters nicely. The contributions of Barbara Walters & Judy Woodruff. The space I give myself to catch up, so life doesn’t occur as too much. 3.

Accomplished Made an agreement with the California Franchise Tax Board to settle up on some way-back taxes. Washed a bunch of tea towels and got the kitchen cloth “drawer” sorted. Made chili myself, although not vegetarian. 3.

Thinking about:  How a flare-up can still take me out. That it is taking me so long to get these submitted that I wonder, truly, if I am committed. How first-of-the-month shopping wasn’t easy this time around, following a 9-day inflammation flare-up that seemed barometric-pressure related. How I want to get back out there and how my body frequently stops me. 3+1.

Funny:

She’s the best! Thanks, Dario!

Reading/Listening/Watching right now: It turns out I was working nights when Battlestar Galactica came out, so I am watching the whole series. No wonder everyone’s so freaked out about AI and The Singularity.
Finished listening to “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer has been on my list for a while, and in listening to it, I get that Michael is quite insistent about this being the path, but we are on the same page. (I would language parts of it a bit differently.) (Check out the top five takeaways generated by our favorite AI, ChatGPT.)
Listening to “How to Stand Up to a Dictator” by Maria Ressa, Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Seems (dropped down to here as I am collecting these instead of collaging):
like I get body aches when a storm hits, and it takes me many moons to recover;
like I have agreed to some “good” superstitions that may no longer apply;
Previously:
like the things I do that involve giving money make little difference;
like I’m trapped in a network of conversations for remembering/forgetting;
like I have, of course, forgotten a lot of the practices that “made me what I am”;
like I’m going along fine, and then BAM, something happens;
like there isn’t any knowable way that “it is”;
like life comes at me hard and fast, and I always need a longer break than I get;
that my healthy choices still aren’t healthy for my situation;
like I used to be able to eat more than I can now.
3+.

New Habit(s)(dropped down to here as I am collecting and updating these):

Black coffee for months now and intentionally bringing JOY to it, but alternating with Oaty milk and a little sweetener.

Still going toward dairy-free, plant-based information for my body’s cells, allowing for some animal proteins as we change the pantry contents and absent-mindedly use butter instead of its substitutes.

Increase capacities slowly, and they might stick. 

Checking messages and replying on Emergent Commons – this is not as frequent as some may like!

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE:

K: Daily Communication

Looking around for an image that was not done using AI tools, I found this one, which was sent to me by a dear friend of a print she had in her garage (that she wasn’t sure what to do with), I had the impression that the figure was looking for something…

Learned: about equanimity and eminence. That I may occur as a steady voice of reason. That my spirit has the back of those whose spirits may need to have a strong spirit having their back. That I don’t fully know the meaning of “Cybernetics.” 3.

Grateful for: the long-ago mostly-ending of my own negative feedback loop; Incantations; the ability to be in a difficult conversation for them and stay steady with my eye on their transformation; millions of inventions no longer in use. 3+1.

Accomplished (or weird things that happened): Made almost-decent Cinnamon Rolls; cleaned two pantry cupboards; loads of typing that falls under the category of “replies”; Listened to a 2-hour-long podcast featuring John Vervæke and Jordan Hall. Drove a car. 3.

Thinking about:  A beautiful young man in Haiti who has been believing the negative feedback loop voice (until today). How I had big plans with a friend traveling to visit, and how a U.S. COVID-19 CDC proof of vaccination requirement has emptied all of our plans. How I have this drag-queeny thing under my breath at times that goes like, “They just can’t handle it!” 3.

LISTEN to this: (if you dare)

Listen Loud while cleaning. Do not drift into your own thoughts. Stay with the conversation.

Reading/Listening right now: “How to Stand Up to a Dictator” by Maria Ressa, Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Seems (dropped down to here as I am collecting these instead of collaging):
like the things I do that involve giving money make little difference;
like I’m trapped in a network of conversations for remembering/forgetting;
like I have, of course, forgotten a lot of the practices that “made me what I am”;
like I’m going along fine, and then BAM, something happens;
like there isn’t any knowable way that “it is”;
like life comes at me hard and fast, and I always need a longer break than I get;
that my healthy choices still aren’t healthy for my situation;
like I used to be able to eat more than I can now.
3+.

New Habit(s)(dropped down to here as I am collecting these):

Black coffee for many weeks now and intentionally bringing JOY to it.

Going toward dairy-free, plant-based information for my body’s cells, allowing for some animal proteins as we change the pantry contents and absent-mindedly use butter instead of its substitutes.

When the tum feels queasy, can have a mellow, oat-milky fluffy cafe latte.

Increase capacities slowly, and they might stick. 

Checking messages and replying on Emergent Commons.

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE:

K: Daily Communication

I have enjoyed chemical reactions in the past like these; apart from the suffering, the chaos of a storm can yield a fascinating new landscape. I enjoy receiving a jewel-like result from such a prompt. The tool does fascinating things with textures and space that I may never have the patience to do myself. The above is a slightly retouched MidJourney image using the following prompt-craft: “botanical illustration, pistil and stamen, bouncing dots reacting to sound vibrations, gorgeous cerebral artwork by Go Nagai and Jean Arp, hyper-realistic, unreal render, octane render, shallow focus, drama cinematic lighting –no blur –ar 8:8 –v 4”

Learned: Oregon will be rolling out its new psychedelic therapies come January 2023. When it’s not a daily communication, I learn a lot but don’t write that I’ve learned it, then risk forgetting what I’ve learned forever. 2.

Grateful for: In-between spaces and mid-transitions; picked-up clues; glorious patches of unscheduled time; the times when I do remember what I’ve learned without having to refer to my notes. 3+1.

Seems: like I’m trapped in a network of conversations for remembering/forgetting; like I have, of course, forgotten a lot of the practices that “made me what I am”; like I’m going along fine, and then BAM, something happens; like there isn’t any knowable way that “it is”; like life comes at me hard and fast, and I always need a longer break than I get; that my healthy choices still aren’t healthy for my situation; like I used to be able to eat more than I can now. 3+.

New Habit(s): black coffee for many weeks now and recently intentionally bringing JOY to it. Going toward dairy-free, plant-based information for my body’s cells, allowing for some animal proteins as we change the pantry contents and absent-mindedly use butter instead of its substitutes. When the tum feels queasy, can have a mellow, oat-milky fluffy cafe latte. Increase capacities slowly, and they might stick. Checking messages on EC. 3+.

Accomplished (or weird things that happened): Said Curtis’ name and ran into him within one minute in Noe Valley; the words and structures for my Aunt Joyce’s 80th Birthday Zoom event; the words and structure for a 13-episode monthly event on Emergent Commons. 3.

Thinking about:  How my Daily Communication has not been very daily; Actually learning to speak and understand Spanish. Undergoing psychedelic therapies in Oregon as part of the training of the guide-sitters and therapists, even though I would prefer to “go off on my bicycle and trip!” 3.

Watch this: (if you dare) there are as many dietary advices available as there are digestive tracts. Some seem more likely correct than others, even if the news isn’t good. Sadhguru has an interesting take on the problem with The Western Diet.

I am always looking for clues.

Not really reading right now.

Ecology of Practices:
>I practice being the ways of being I say I want to be as a space. When I am not being those ways, I quickly get back to being those ways of being.

CORE: Committed to having space for it all (without having to remind myself that I am committed to having space for it all).

Being all like “I am Free to give, I receive more than I give.”
(ala good buddy Colleen S.)

Regular creation of “places to stand”
Attitudes that support standing there
Having a strong sense of who I am
Maintaining an empowered context.

>There are no circumstances that require me to lose my shit.

I remain playful! I may seem to gab and joke, but I also generate.
I listen for things to appear in the communication.
I listen for their greatness. (And it appears.)
>I listen for them being who they say they want to be
>I listen for them getting what they want.

Structural:
I use Google calendar to guide my passing through “time”
>I read my text messages first.
I use Alexa to announce what is happening next (in three minutes)
If the next thing that is happening with another person, I go toward the minute it is to start willing to be clear and complete from the beginning of the conversation.
I use PillPack for prescriptions to track whether I already took my meds.
I keep a pantry of many items to be used. (I am questioning this practice now.)
I be willing to examine my habits of consuming and, in time, make changes.

K: Daily Communication

From September 2022, an unretouched MidJourney image using the following prompt-craft: “shattered realization that the source of value is a conversation, by Yoji Shinkawa, –no blur –ar 8:8 –testp.” I like that I can look back and choose something that, at the time, didn’t strike me as cool as it does now. Reference to Yoji Shinkawa is intended to mean “in the style of” and not meant to claim that Yoji Shinkawa made the above image.

Learned: That it was ME who was being joyless about the fact that I couldn’t put cream in my coffee, so it was ME who needed to drop it and create something else; that I could get a 32 oz. bottle of molasses on special at Whole Foods for $5.99; that a comrade in sudden turmoil will still likely make it somehow. 3.

Grateful for: the completion of projects; that completing with a person can happen even when you didn’t know there was something to complete; the season of gratitude that is upon us; joyful camaraderie, intentional transcendence in community, and the wise and loving influence of ancestors, elders, comrades, and young people. 3+.

Seems: like I have forgotten a lot of the practices that “made me what I am”; like I’m going along fine, and then BAM, something happens; like there isn’t any knowable way that “it is”; like life comes at me hard and fast, and I always need a longer break than I get; that my healthy choices still aren’t healthy for my situation; like I used to be able to eat more than I can now. 3+.

New Habit(s): black coffee for SIX weeks now and recently intentionally bringing JOY to it. Going toward plant-based information for my body’s cells, allowing for some animal proteins as we change the pantry contents. When the tum feels queasy, can have a mellow, oat-milky fluffy cafe latte. Increase capacities slowly, and they might stick. Checking messages on EC. 3+.

Accomplished: All of the things that lead to the November 21 launch of “The 2022 Kilgore Family Cookbook” (no link here – by request only!) I made multiple trips to physical and online stores, not knowing exactly what I was creating. I’ve been naturally more tired in the evenings and have gotten more sleep recently than I have for years. 3.

Thinking about: My friend Junior and his son, Nathan, back in Haiti, and the people who help them in their serious situation; my aunt Joyce and her serious situation; the impacts swallowing dairy products may have on my physical health. 3.

Watch this:

Thank you for sharing, Dario and Bride.

Reading: Still have not read anything bound and published since October 31st. Have also paused my Audible.com subscription, which I learned you can do up to 3 months in a one-year period. I shall resume in February.

New Section (to build rather than to update):

Ecology of Practices:
regular creation of “places to stand”
attitudes that support standing there
having a strong sense of who I am
maintaining an empowered context.

Committed to having space for it all (without having to remind myself that I am committed to having space for it all).

Being all like “I am Free to give, I receive more than I give.”
(ala good buddy Colleen S.)

I use Google calendar to guide my passing through “time”
I use Alexa to announce what is happening next (in three minutes)
If the next thing that is happening with another person, I go toward the minute it is to start willing to be clear and complete from the beginning of the conversation.

I use PillPack for prescriptions to track whether I already took my meds.
I listen for things to appear in the communication.
I listen for their greatness.
I may seem to gab and joke, but I also generate.

K: Daily Communication

Achitectural detail photo of the upper floor and spire of the "iglesia Adventista del 7mo Dia" set agaist a clear sky.
From the back door of my flat, I can see the back of this Iglesia and the little spire. I have not noticed the front of it until yesterday. There used to be an enormous ficus tree in front of it.

Learned: I can wake up middle of the night, be at a London Conference, take a quick nap, return to the Zoom meeting, and really be grateful that I allowed myself to do a day differently than I usually like to do. 1.

3. Grateful for: anti-diarrheal medications; an intentional completion process; presencing love in community and having it come back as fellowship; David and Ali’s “Rebel Wisdom” creation, start to finish; that I get really moved when others presence the love I am talking about. 3+1.

Seems: like life comes at me hard and fast, and I always need a longer break than I get; like there truly is space for something now that Rebel Wisdom is complete; that I can now facilitate a simple sharing forum once a month on the Emergent Commons platform; that my healthy choices still aren’t healthy for my situation. Hard to think, write and add when tired. 3+3.

New Habit(s): Continued black coffee. Going toward plant-based information for my body’s cells, allowing for some animal proteins as we change the pantry contents. When the tum feels queasy, can have a mellow, oat-milky fluffy coffee.

Increase capacities slowly, and they might stick. 3+1.

Accomplished: Re-grounded after two weeks away plus travel. Being away and letting this go for a while. Went for a walk even when I didn’t feel like it. Attended RW completion. Insurance switch. Ballot for mail-in voting. Nearly dairy-free. Replanting a few cacti. This. 8.

Thinking about: “The End of Indolence” game. That I said I was thinking about creating a “Forum on Emergent Commons” to people who will listen for it, and how I might schedule it.

Reading: I ordered another book before I finished “The Botany of Desire.” I cannot remember what it is without going to look.

K: Daily Communication

Using similar words as yesterday produced this result. Example of MidJourney prompt used: photographic realism, beautiful Japanese males, youthful faces of wisdom and beauty, intricate craquelure patina, ultra-detailed, artwork by jean arp, otto dix blue-black lines, tempera painting on newsprint, drone-view, shallow focus, drama cinematic lights –no blur –ar 8:8 –testp (you can say whatever and it does what it does.)

Learned: Kiss Coffee in N.E. Portland, Oregon, is a great place for breakfast burritos. That the Barista-level oatmilk products may be delicious in coffee. That there are 96 million in the Chinese communist party, 70% are male. Gas prices in California are the highest in the nation, attributed to higher taxes and a “mystery” gasoline surcharge that is never fully addressed by policy makers. That my new friend Sanjeev loved the Academy of Science, and might become convinced to wear a nametag as a regular part of his regular outerwear. That I have been using the wrong online scheduler for my barber, Einstein.

3. Bougie juice stand close to home. 311.org. My ability to juggle quick items and manage. 3.

Seems: the problem of “gas prices” is cloudy and uninteresting. That info comes in and goes out without creating a permanent record. That as the political flyers pile up, what a poor source of information they are without researching their sources and what their ideas are. That I pass out with the TV on almost every evening; at least I am already in bed!

New Habit(s): from memory, non-dairy coffee (a 5-day success). Walk-a-block daily and take a photo while out there (3/4), I can’t remember the rest. Finishing this in the middle of the night. Oh! Doing this M-F journal entry is a new habit!

Accomplished: The back-to-back calls that were scheduled today, I was there for whether they happened or not. Made a mid-month transfer to the DR and didn’t feel like it was devastating.

Thinking about: How I need to pull it together for the Portland trip. How eating healthy with my new plan may be a struggle. That I probably need to come clean about my back-taxes with my father.

Video: if you haven’t already, the M.C. Escher doc from a couple of days ago…

Reading: Same things as before. No time for reading today.

K: Resuming Communication

“The Sea of Fog” Caspar David Friedrich, 1818. Image Source: images.fineartamerica.com via HERE. I have a minimalist friend who chose this image as his only artwork. Hmm.

Learned: I can drink my coffee black, which is still enjoyable. That I can get in a snit, forlorn and positional, entitled, cunty and self-righteous (on the inside), and come out of it with resolve, greet the world newly, and buy beautiful fruits and vegetables.

Grateful for: the undercurrent of human kindness that I believe is in us all, even in the seemingly cruelest. Corner shop with beautiful fruits and vege. The generosity I am, even when I am not.

Seems: Like I’ve been tricked, or I tricked myself into believing X; like I’ll never win my health game; like I need to “get out of it.”

New Habits: walk-a-block every day (going outside, by the front door), Beets and celery juice. Black coffee (day one is Oct. 11, 2022), plant-based eating and drinking to de-fat the blood (if I can do the black coffee, I can do anything!) Journaling like this (newly, again). Instagramming as artist.

Thinking about: Since it’s been a while, it’s fair to say I’ve been thinking about many things. The top three and most recent are:

1). how strange it is to have this mode of thinking “back” that resembles the pre-SSNRI times. Not as Zen an experience, but with more possibility than the accepting every moment as it was (since there was little I could do about it) way of life. It’s as if things could be important. And that maybe being healthy is possible by accepting drastic measures. I’m thinking about the past decade I’ve spent in a drug-induced stuckness. Not as manic as I was when the drug was wearing off. But a sadness, maybe from what I’m reading and from completing pleasurable habits like coffee with cream.

2). I have work to do. Habit work, mind work. The days will still wash over me, no matter what I choose.

3). Learning re-learning is troubling. I hope some habit-forming takes place that has me wordpressing and such with greater ease. I understand winging it with settings will mess things up.

Listen or View: (A link to a video, so others can see something they never would see or hear some music they wouldn’t find on their own.)

Reading? Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler. I have a stack of books like I always have, but I am going to attempt a lifestyle of reading just one book at a time for the rest of my life. That will be new and way less scattered.

This book, a dystopian-future survival story set written in the 1980s about a time around now, is pretty saddening as a story. Now that I have access to emotions again, I am not sure I like the story, but I like the way it’s written, and since it’s an audiobook read by Lynne Thigpen, I am enjoying the performance even though my soul desires to live in a brighter world.

Wildcard: I felt physically nervous while waiting in line at Walgreens. Social distancing seems to be over.