Daily Communication

Learned: Inflammation pulls me away—especially in the arms and hands. I am so very loved. I may not be universally “liked.” I have the humility to be with that more easily than with being so very loved.

Grateful: for the energy to do a day of nearly back-to-back calls and meetings and still have a little left after 5:00 p.m.; for the love and loyalty I experience each day; for having a little part of what each person I encounter needs. 3.

Accomplished: Saw my doctor, spoke about needing attention to my digestion, and getting attention to my digestion. Latched on to the Probiotics from seed.com and already feeling some results. Realized that if I ever publish anything, I will need to go over every inch of it. Have had several breakfasts.

Thinking about: how the AI Craze is sorting people into belief and prediction silos, and how I don’t want to fall into any of them but see myself falling into the “we best be responsible for whatever we create” camp—but it’s fun to see people having fun with it.

Saying this again (and again): What I really need is to have the habit of having breakfast and going for a walk. Or just the breakfast or just the walk, get up and do it right now. That would be good. (As long as I’m not feverish.)

A Talk About Time:

Reading/Listening/Watching right now: I have gotten back into Netflix’s “Better Call Saul.” I have reviewed the first five seasons of so I could enjoy the whole experience with my dad and so I could enjoy Carol Burnett’s acting in the sixth and final season. On Peacock, “Industry” was a fun romp through a fictional financial working world, and also on Peacock, I have to say, “The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” is a reality show that has a nice bit of difference making in it.

Seems: like Being so very loved seems like I need to DO something then, like stay a particular way that is invisible to me; like I DON’T GO THERE; like I get thrown back, pulled back, or pushed back, even though I get there is no back; like low barometric pressure gives me extra inflammation; like there is now so much content churning out about every single thing someone could be interested in that it is pressing the “just give up” button.

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE:

A Quote About Time:

“The best way for me to get more time would be to give it to you, and the best way for you to get some more would be to give it back to me.”

~ Jenny Odell

Learned: Inflammation pulls me away—it’s been weeks and it takes me days to finish. What it’s like to have an MRI of one’s head (6th of March). WhatsApp works on my phone even when the Internet is down. About some of the ideas of Ludwig Wittgenstein.
(I may put things here that refer to things I keep forgetting or that I almost learn.)

Grateful: for the ability to ship items to people rather than to have to go buy and self-ship; for having both parents alive and well in their 79th and 82nd years. Decent weather in Portland; Betaine Hydrochloride. 3.

Accomplished: So much of my list, but not nearly enough.

Thinking about: How long it takes between Daily Communications and how it’s not wrong it is that it’s only every so often. How when I pack a suitcase, I end up cleaning and reorganizing my home. Too much sitting is a pain in the ass.

Saying this again (and again): What I really need is to have a habit of having breakfast and going for a walk. Or just the walk, get up and do it right now. That would be good. (As long as I’m not feverish.)

How Communication goes wrong:

Reading/Listening/Watching right now: I love the Netflix series Mortel. I can hear the French and Creole pretty well, especially when grandma Elizabeth speaks it. Lots of spooky nonsensical Voodoo activity. Also Listening to Music by Intik – an old favorite. Homestead Rescue with Mom. Sinner with Dad.

Seems: like I get thrown back, pulled back, or pushed back, even though I get there is no back; like low barometric pressure gives me extra inflammation;

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE:

A Quote About Hope:

“Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”

~ summarized by Jim Collins as the “Stockdale Paradox” 
found at emotionalcompetency.com/hope.htm

Learned: big difference between Celebrex and Cymbalta. The word I can never recall (that I have peristil in the way of) is altar, which is lotèl in kreyòl. That feeling bad may be experienced as darkness. That a QR code is called a QR code. (I may put things here that refer to things I keep forgetting or that I almost learn.)

Grateful: for central heating that works; that my immune system can still heat up for a fight; that I can eat some dried fruit and a can of peaches and have something move; that my new neighbor Danny is turning out to be a considerate, good neighbor. 3+1.

Accomplished: I did Thursday while “coming down with something.” Had two significant bouts of fever and lived to tell. Cleared off the dressing table surface for the first time in years and set up my new “vanity” mirror (and it is pleasing with my few beautiful bottles of Shiseido Zen and Bravas). ⬅︎ Took that photo and did not retouch it. Trimmed a lot of tiny roots from the root system of a plant I’d like to revive.

Thinking about: my fear of becoming feverish again. I have had a few bouts of feverishness lately that hearken back to the times I was constantly feverish. I don’t like having a fever. It is difficult to be who I say I am when I have a fever. It is almost like being unconscious, or at least as useful when one wished to be conscious. Still, I get that the immune system is doing its thing, that it can be a bit painful, and I just need to roll with it. Thursday took something, and by 5:30 p.m., I was toast. Thinking of asking my doctor if I should switch from ibuprofen to Celebrex, but not sure why yet. Feeling toxed.

Saying this again (and again): What I really need is to have a habit of having breakfast and going for a walk. Or just the walk, get up and do it right now. That would be good. (As long as I’m not feverish.)

Super sweet and, at times, inspiring:

Reading/Listening/Watching right now: wanted to get some Liz Lemon zany comedy into my body so watched a bit of Mr. Mayor on FreeVee and some Girls5evah on Peacock. Mostly been zoned in on listening to 1947 film noir that I could turn away from and hopefully sleep through.

Seems: like I get thrown back, pulled back, or pushed back, even though I get there is no back.

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE:

A Quote About Hope:

“Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”

~ summarized by Jim Collins as the “Stockdale Paradox” 
found at emotionalcompetency.com/hope.htm

Learned: central heating system in the (old) flat is on the fritz since last Thursday. After several days of observance, I can point to the thermostat as the culprit, as when it is left set to full-blast, it comes on sometime in the afternoon to warm up the place, but when turned down and stopped because 74°F is plenty warm enough for now, it is done for the day. I like it around 68°F. Good thing we have space heaters and live in a fairly pleasant climate. Relearned, as I always have to, how one sets in “roman with quotation marks” articles vs. italicizes the titles of published works, according to the Chicago Manual of Style.

Grateful: that I live in a fairly pleasant climate; that the people currently buying the house I live in are super-responsive once I find them; that even when I am hindered, I have better energy than when I was stuck in fatigue. 3.

Accomplished: Made a tasty peach cake out of the peach cobbler I didn’t like the leftovers of very much, cutting out all the cobbler and adding it to a “Lightning Cake” from the Joy of Cooking. Dug the old radiating space heater out of storage so there will be one in each of our bedrooms, and put the wheel back on that was always breaking off. I get the old one, but it still works. I have been meaning to try space heating vs. heating the whole house. It may be happening without my making an “out loud request.” I have also deduced our central heating is down due to the thermostat malfunctioning, and not the furnace malfunctioning.

I also invited someone to be highlighted for the February 22nd “Last Wednesday” member event on Emergent Commons. (Go see if you want to join!) They have mostly said yes, I just need to confirm that it is a FIRM yes, and go from there.

Thinking about: expanding on the idea of cleansing by pausing the Chlorofresh supplement, which keeps me smelling sweet but does provide a hefty copper dose of 4.5mg per dose. I have been taking it twice a day for many years. Let me stop for a bit and see the difference. I am currently suspect of everything I have been doing unchecked for many years, AND I don’t wish to smell bad! But I am resolved to test out living without them for a while.

Saying this again: What I really need is to have a habit of having breakfast and going for a walk. Or just the walk, get up and do it right now. That would be good.

Meet two charming young men who are live players in the sensemaking scene:

Reading/Listening/Watching right now: I finished watching The Patient on Hulu. It was creepy but did a great job of attempting to humanize a serial killer. Also found more episodes of The Leftovers on HBO which is a truly weird story. The Creative Act by Rick Rubin (Guardian review). I started listening and couldn’t turn it off for a whole day. A good match for my brain, thinking about Being.

Seems: we are starting over with this one. I can go back to the record if I need to say it again.

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE:

A Quote About Hope:

“Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”

~ summarized by Jim Collins as the “Stockdale Paradox” 
found at emotionalcompetency.com/hope.htm

Learned: from a story on NPR on the amazing Ryuichi Sakamoto, who is dealing with what sounds like a serious bout of cancer, Alejandro González Iñárritu said, “silence is the source of music.” About a series of writings under the heading of “33-1/3” that is mused upon musical record albums.

Grateful: that I’ve reached a period of cleansing; that I can venture out farther on my walks than I have been able to for years; that if I take it break from a dietary program I’m attempting, it doesn’t do much damage. 3.

Accomplished: secured an appointment with Dr. Randall Go, O.D., as recommended by my pal Sophie, and found that he is a provider within my healthcare network, so it’s covered. Took down and tossed the filthy curtain in the corner of the kitchen and replaced it with a bright new sheer. Cut my contacts list almost in half, removing many unknown entries, names I spoke to once or twice, and some folks who are no longer with us. Walked three times this week. 3+.

Thinking about: I always have an earworm, and it seems linked to radio listening from my youth. When I listen to NPR, which is rare, the stories seem to expose something but most do not delve as deeply as I thought they used to. The idea of listening to the radio still appeals to me, but the quality of programming I except seems not to be there. And, if I don’t get these out the day I start them, some of the stuff I said is no longer alive for me. Hmph.

Saying this again: What I really need is to have a habit of having breakfast and going for a walk. Or just the walk, get up and do it right now. That would be good.

Watch & learn:

Reading/Listening/Watching right now: I finished watching “Hot Skull” on Netflix. It is dystopian, and it is attempting to comment on something that we are also attempting to comment on. Also watched “The Bear” on Hulu. Pretty good, not a comedy. Listening to “Hi Ren” (on YouTube, a phenomenal performance of how one really works within their Self, with the little voice on loudspeaker.

Seems: we are starting over with this one. I can go back to the record if I need to say it again.

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE:

A Quote About Hope:

“Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”

~ summarized by Jim Collins as the “Stockdale Paradox” 
found at emotionalcompetency.com/hope.htm

Learned: Meta for Business would drive me crazy. I do not want to have all the communication in one place when it would still be most of it it, not all. It’s not the kind of empire I currently wish to run. 3.

Grateful: for all the things I could do. For regained abilities, now and in the future. For friends leaving clues and for my finding them. 3.

Accomplished: Well, I ate that soup for dinner, didn’t I! It’s amazing how difficult it can be for me to coordinate my own damn dinner after a certain time of day has passed. I do know that I better get it started early or I might not even go in there to warm anything up.

Thinking about: It’s been a while since I said anything here much about my health breakdowns. I don’t dwell on my health breakdowns as a story I tell to everyone, but I will say a bit today since I have an old friend here who is going through something hard.

I’m feeling alright today, sitting up managing things and typing, starting to feel the tension in my hips and a little tightness in my lower back build from sitting in the drafting-height chair that I still seem to think I need. Unexamined structures from the past. I like it better than bed or couch. It feels like I’m doing something when I am sitting at a desk in a semi-uncomfortable chair that I paid good money for.

After many years of being unable to function to the point of assuming the life of a disabled person, I feel so much better, and still have a long way to go to achieve Dick Van Dyke longevity! I have changed and changed again while in the midst of living as a person with a disabling condition (several), as they are kindly starting to say now. 

I just don’t have that much energy for all these ways of connecting. I consider submitting to an app that will aggregate at the places we’re supposed to meet, then I shrink away from the screen and go be with my thoughts or talk to someone real. I consider this to be a “healthy response!”

What I really need is to have a habit of having breakfast and going for a walk. Or just the walk, get up and do it right now. That would be good.

Watch & learn:

A Quote About Hope:

“Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”

~ summarized by Jim Collins as the “Stockdale Paradox” 
found at emotionalcompetency.com/hope.htm

Reading/Listening/Watching right now: Since the last time I said anything, I think I watched the entire five seasons of Yellowstone on Peacock. So strange to become engaged in a cowboy story, but not really. I come from that, minus the cows and the cowboys. Hay, water troughs and horses. Otherwise, media consumption has become pretty random. There are many choices. I’ll let you know if anything stands out.

Seems: we are starting over with this one. I can go back to the record if I need to say it again.

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE:

Learned & listening for: Kitty D. will become a breathwork facilitator and must have a living situation that includes space for a garden. The Lavazza dark roast that I rejected before is now my favorite coffee. Listening for what is emerging (I forgot that I learned it a while back). For an online meeting, some people are comfortable winging it while others need structure, ground rules and agreements. Will have new upstairs neighbors soon. 3+1+1.

Neptune opposition Sun: Snares and Delusions – End of May 2022 until mid-March 2024:
If others have any reason to misunderstand you, they will, and they are likely to work against you because misunderstanding easily turns to fear or mistrust. The road to this understanding is full of snares and delusions that you must carefully find your way through. Give anyone who enters your life now plenty of time to prove that he or she is honest before you place a great deal of trust in that person. If you are not careful, you may come out of this period feeling very badly about yourself.

Grateful: that I do not follow a horoscopic view of life, i.e., that I am outside of the conversation of astrology and am not susceptible to its superstitions; that I can stand in love, forgiveness, being with, etc., and really stand there; for the freedom of a stormy Tuesday Afternoon. 3.

Accomplished: had a great catch-up with Kitty D. Took ladder out to the garden to get cleaned by the rain. Attended a sense-making meeting that was about the sense-making meeting and made a little sense of it. 3.

Thinking about: the dream last night where I was in Australia; that I know what would be good for me, but I don’t always do it; that I use some undistinguished excuse of weakness or hindrance to get out of having to do my life the right way; that some of my beliefs, exposed, would make the believers of astrology and such dislike my company. 3+1.

Watch & learn:

Reading/Listening/Watching right now: It turns out I was working nights when the early 2000s Battlestar Galactica came out, so I am watching the whole series. No wonder everyone’s so freaked out about AI and The Singularity. It isn’t a feel-good drama. I might not finish watching the whole series. I like Star Trek better, but could also be looking into other things or simply relaxing.

Listening to “How to Stand Up to a Dictator” by Maria Ressa, Nobel Peace Prize winner. She is an honest person, therefore, an honest journalist. Some of the stuff in her book is a little horrifying, but not surprising.

Seems (dropped down to here as I am collecting these instead of collaging):
like I get body aches when a storm hits, and it takes me many moons to recover;
like I have agreed to some “good” superstitions that may no longer apply;
Previously:
like the things I do that involve giving money make little difference;
like I’m trapped in a network of conversations for remembering/forgetting;
like I have, of course, forgotten a lot of the practices that “made me what I am”;
like I’m going along fine, and then BAM, something happens;
like there isn’t any knowable way that “it is”;
like life comes at me hard and fast, and I always need a longer break than I get;
that my healthy choices still aren’t healthy for my situation;
like I used to be able to eat more than I can now.
3+.

New Habit(s)(dropped down to here as I am collecting and updating these):

Black coffee for months now and intentionally bringing JOY to it, but alternating with Oaty milk and a little sweetener.

Still going toward dairy-free, plant-based information for my body’s cells, allowing for some animal proteins as we change the pantry contents and absent-mindedly use butter instead of its substitutes.

Increase capacities slowly, and they might stick. 

Checking messages and replying on Emergent Commons – this is not as frequent as some may like!

Ecology of Practices: MOVED TO HERE: