“Girl with Potatoes” by Australian photographer Bill Gekas – from an article found here.
Learned: In Zen Hospice Project‘s workshop “Open Death Conversation: End of Life Contemplations,” I got how great I have been dealing with my “losses” and how to pre-accept whatever could be considered a loss by approaching it as letting go (not loss). NB had surgery on his foot yesterday and it’s a whole new world. Binah = intelligence. 3.
3+1: When doctors slow down and look closer. Generosity. The work of bees and bee-like work. My ability to embrace the beauty of nature. 3+1.
Seems: Like NB finally has the right doctors and oh, weird, one of them is from MY TEAM. Like I’m able to cook or shop more than I could over the years, but still, I need help. Like I’m about to go through a rebranding process and come out more strongly myself stronger than I am right now. Like I might be an intuitive, but probably not psychic or clairvoyant. 4.
Three Questions:
“What if I made this Easy?”
“What about this is REHAB?”
“What if I made this Important?”
I am embracing the beauty of nature.
Thinking about: Visiting NB at the hospital. My call with Slade Roberson, which was super beautiful. Taking some radical new actions. 3.
On-purpose ways of being (let ’em ride): Courageous, radical, confronting and enchanted with forgiveness, peace, freedom and unconditional love in the background always.
Accomplished: Attended an online workshop about Death and loss meant to open up a dialog about one’s own demise to make available something other than the tragedy. Had a call with a good-natured intuitive; I want to/will do his program.
Watched/Watching: Started watching “Lucifer” which is cute but dumb. Also started “Southland” which is kind of gritty and hard to fall asleep to, which means it’s good.
Reading: “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. Distinguishes resistance well, but not all of it aligns with how I choose to see the world. To each their own fantasy!
“Traversata della Siberia” by Antonio Ligabue (1899-1965). A film is being made of his life.
Learned: Much about Karpman’s Drama Triangle – victim, persecutor, rescuer stemming from the Transactional Analysis world of Eric Berne MD, author of “Games People Play: the Psychology of Human Relations.” How to prepare sweet pepper relish and roughly how to hot water bath process it (boil 15 mins). About this online workshop by Zen Hospice Project‘s Open Death Conversation: End of Life Contemplations, which I will be attending Saturday, March 24, 10:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. PDT. 3.
3+1: All the people who get up every day and move things. YouTube Learning. Rainy days where I don’t have to go out. My ability to accept whatever seems to be happening and not get sucked into drama. 3+1.
Seems: Like it is pretty easy to get hooked into a drama triangle and not even realize you’re in it. Like people around me are often in a drama triangle and I am always outside of it trying to interrupt. Like leaving a slightly more alpha message for the dental school radiology dept. could induce a call-back, but I’m not counting on it. 3.
The Three Questions:
Ask “What if I made this Easy?”
Ask “What about this is REHAB?”
Ask “What if I made this Important?”
Top Three Desirable Habits that want to strengthen:
✔︎ Upgrade: BE willing to do things differently than I think I can.
✔︎ Use LIFE as Rehab (like going with the flow).
✔︎ Embrace community; put self-care first. Note:If I AM a conversation, establish a way to remember that it’s still active. (Stage 2, remember/forget)
On-purpose ways of being (let ’em ride): Courageous, radical, confronting and enchanted with forgiveness, peace, freedom and unconditional love in the background always.
Accomplished: Attended workshop on “Unlearning Racism.” Rearranged weekend plans and registered for Hospice workshop. Made Chili and two quiches. Cleaned veg crisper of all old items. Cut up a lot of peppers. Left a challenging message for the dental school radiology dept, in hope of triggering someone’s rescuer response.
By choosing up sides – this quality is good, and that one is bad – our tendency is to overuse our preferred qualities to the point that they eventually become liabilities.
Continuous hard work, for example, eventually turns into overwork and burnout. Intermittent renewal is the antidote. Too much confidence eventually becomes arrogance, and the balancing quality is humility.
To increase our capacity, we must become more wholly human, embracing and cultivating a broader range of qualities that help us better navigate an increasingly complex world.
Q: Not sure what to ask. How about, “Do you think that’s true? What seems true about it?”
A: I guess when I hear that “we must become more wholly human,” I sense what is meant is like “balanced” rather than wholly human. I feel wholly human when I can’t easily get out of bed, but very much out of balance and wanting to increase my capacity. But maybe it ain’t balance, I just hear balance from seemingly living life out-of-balance. More varied selections on the menu of being. If I keep using the same qualities and strengths that I think are good or that make me good, perhaps I’ll continue to get similar results in life that I have gotten from being the kind of machine I’ve been. So let’s see if alpha demander gets an appointment for dental x-rays.
Watched/Watching: Hulu’s “Casual” and not much else at the moment. I usually get about half an episode of the later-model “The Outer Limits” in before I fall asleep for the night. It’s good to have a show that attracts my sleeping.
Finished: “Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don’t Agree with or Like or Trust” by Adam Kahane. Ties in well with The Energy Project’s 5 Key ideas, although my memory for book learning seems foggy these days, so I might just be saying that.
Learned: Random, mostly visual info about Hobart, Tasmania. There’s a KQED podcast called “The Cooler” that’s kind of fun, and another non-KQED podcast called “Strange Bird” by Mona Chalabi. I’ve challenged by my old roommate TY to post on Facebook 10 days of highly influential music albums (cover art, no explanation) and to invite others to do so by tagging them in the posts. 3.
3+1: Improvement. Shamanistic therapies. Women getting into politics. My ability to hone. 3+1.
Seems: Like sleeping is more effective with CPAP, but still not completely therapeutic. Like I’ve been stingy and positional by not answering questions on Quora. Like Margaret Wheatley is going toward something like what I do, to endeavor to feel good, or as good as I can under the circumstances, while still doing something to improve circumstances for someone somewhere (in time, space, etc.). 3.
The Three Questions:
Ask “What if I made this Easy?”
Ask “What about this is REHAB?”
Ask “What if I made this Important?”
Top Three Desirable Habits that want to strengthen:
✔︎ Upgrade: BE willing to do things differently than I think I can.
✔︎ Use LIFE as Rehab (like going with the flow).
✔︎ Embrace community; put self-care first.
Note: If I AM a conversation, establish a way to remember that it’s still active. (Stage 2, remember/forget)
Thinking about: Changing up the format again. The constructs homo sapiens use to make it seem like they’re holding it all together. A trip to Western Union and the market. 3.
On-purpose ways of being, continued: Courageous, radical, confronting and enchanted with forgiveness, peace, freedom and unconditional love in the background always.
Accomplished: Answered two Quora questions. Slept somewhat better with larger CPAP mask. Made dinner and ate it. 3. Bonus: Ordered sandpaper and pantry moth traps.
No single recipe or best practice is sufficient to manage a complex dynamic system. The key is to be aware of the interplay among the company’s multiple stakeholders, and the constantly changing personal dynamics between individuals. To maintain equilibrium and stability while also innovating and disrupting, it is necessary to address the system as an integrated whole, taking into account competing instincts without choosing up sides.
Q:If we saw life through the popular view that “everything happens for a reason,” for what reason did you just read (and comprehend) Key Idea 4?
A: Wow, I really didn’t want to read it, and when I re-read it, my brain seemed to go all thick and gooey. After writing that, I thought about reading it out loud to myself, which often over-engages my split attention enough to grasp something that went in muddled the first time. So I did that, and experienced my tongue as part of the thick, gooeyness of the idea. I was more noticing the gooeyness than paying attention to the words. I guess I could say the reason I read it was to notice what happens in my experience when I attempt to gloss over explained concepts that I could easily grasp if not mired in a conversation that there is thick goo between myself and the outside world.
Watched/Watching: Took a chance and listened to music instead. Reviewed a “Smiths” playlist; I used to relate to these songs, but lost my taste for them. Huge source of glum outsiderness! No longer feeling it, but remembered the pathetic feeling of being stuck in circumstances not of my own choosing. Later, I learned, but oy, the suffering. Also listened to an old fave, Portishead’s “Dummy.”
Will resume reading soon:“Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don’t Agree with or Like or Trust” by Adam Kahane. Will read again.
Learned: How I wanna make Shrimp & Grits. I have been putting the cart before the horse. The tobacco industry is starting to push candy-flavored cigarettes. 3.
3+1: My brother’s digestion. CPAP technology. Co-creating with magical creators. My ability to spiritually bypass and make freaky shit alright. 3+1.
Seems: Like having a CPAP machine a few years ago would have made a big difference. Like I’m getting pelted by countless email asking me to DO something and donate 3 dollars and I might want to make them all go away. Like $50 bills look counterfeit. 3.
The Three Questions:
Ask “What if I made this Easy?”
Ask “What about this is REHAB?”
Ask “What if I made this Important?”
Top Three Desirable Habits that want to strengthen:
✔︎ Upgrade: BE willing to do things differently than I think I can.
✔︎ Use LIFE as Rehab (like going with the flow).
✔︎ Embrace community while BY putting self-care first. (I owe nothing, they are there gladly, with or without me.)
Note: If you start a conversation, establish a way to remember that it’s still active. (Stage 2, remember/forget)
Thinking about: How one can’t easily see how they’re putting the cart before the horse on their own. Ever since the #METOO movement started, I’ve been pondering the question, “But what do we do with their art?” but not just of the molesters, but also of those who committed other infringements resulting in confederate statuary and Nazi sculpture, for example. 3.
On-purpose ways of being, continued: Courageous, radical, confronting and enchanted with forgiveness, peace, freedom and unconditional love in the background always.
Accomplished: Got the Medi-Cal paperwork in the mail (always an accomplishment). Made it through another Standard Pacific Time Winter. De-pilled one throw pillow. 3.
Key Idea 3: You can’t change what you don’t notice.
The vast majority of our actions occur automatically, or in response to external stimuli. The more conscious we become of how we’re feeling and of the assumptions we’re making, the more we can make intentional choices about how we want to behave. Self-awareness allows us to be more authentic and effective in relationships with others, and helps us to be more effective at work, and to add more value in the world.
Q: What have you noticed recently about how you automatically operate that you knew would be good to upgrade but perhaps ignored? A: Well, seeing my life circumstances through the filter of “pestered, beleaguered and gripey” and indulging that. I also have been self-indulgent with less-than-wholesome foods and overly ample TV time. I have been locked in a struggle of putting the cart before the horse when it comes to resting and sleep. I spend energy while resting. I am self-indulgent. I ignore best practices.
Watched/Watching: “I Married an Angel” on TCM with Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy – these movies help me sleep. Also watched “Kramer v. Kramer” which I hadn’t seen since it came out. Terribly good, sad. The weekend Binge watch: “The Mist” plus the movie “The Cloverfield Paradox” on Netflix. Next: “Radius.” Rehab is hard!
WAS Reading: “Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don’t Agree with or Like or Trust” by Adam Kahane. Will read again.
“Les clochards sur les quais de la Seine” 1926 by Camille Bombois – it makes me a little crazy that the whole thing is on that angle.
Learned:IPVanish is way more reliable than wiredvpn/pritunl ever were. Landmark is about to test doing seminars online, but you cannot register, you must be selected. Things are moving with my brother. 3.
3+1: Access to smart, on-purpose healthcare. Having set myself up for a way to live if I couldn’t work. An easy day planned. My ability to get all peaceful. 3+1.
Seems: Like if I don’t give it all I’ve got, I’m doing it wrong. Like I have to dig for what I’m grateful as well as what I’ve learned. Like when I don’t manage something, it doesn’t get managed. 3.
The Three Questions:
Ask “What if I made this Easy?”
Ask “What about this is REHAB?”
Ask “What if I made this Important?”
Top Three Desirable Habits that want to strengthen:
✔︎ Do things you normally wouldn’t do (hey, this would be the opposite of a habit).
✔︎ Use LIFE as REHAB. (like cooking with help).
✔︎ Embrace community while BY putting self-care first. (A significant edit.) Note: If you start a conversation, establish a way to remember that it’s still active. (Maybe I don’t actively care?)
Thinking about: Rehab, and how I’m having a little trouble getting established. How much I don’t want to sleep with a CPAP machine. The delicious nap I’m going to have later after I do my errands. 3.
On-purpose ways of being: Courageous, radical, confronting and enchanted with forgiveness, peace, freedom and unconditional love in the background always.
Default ways of being that aren’t much fun: pestered, beleaguered, gripey.
Accomplished: Since last I wrote, much has been accomplished, but mostly regular stuff, like laundry, shopping, and garbage out. 3.
Key Idea 2: Human beings are not machines. Rather, we’re designed to move rhythmically between spending and renewing energy. By doing so, we can get more done, in less time, at a higher level of quality, in a more sustainable way.
Q:If you were a machine, what would be your primary function? A:Primarily my function would be cleaning and restoring. One of my settings would be helping others clean up their messes and having them feel good about life starting from right here.
Watched/Watching: “The End of the F***ing World” on Netflix. Good. The 90th Oscar Awards. Had some good moments. “Imposters” on Netflix (lots of twists).
Reading:“Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don’t Agree with or Like or Trust” by Adam Kahane.
