Learned: It’s been 10 days since I daily communicated, but what I said last time stayed relevant. There is a really good list of International Suicide Hotlines for when someone is needing a listen in another country. Having three wizards is a strong structure for wizardry, especially when one is called away. MA has buttons and they’ve been pushed, but he is simultaneously sharpening his sword, a lesson for us all. I’m not a sociopath, but I can be that guy who says inappropriate things to people I don’t know very well. DA has generated a lot of fun and got some bleep which makes me oddly gleeful – hooray!
3+1: Being called to my brother’s side 10 days early. The miracle of life, including death. Il est mort but I’m not morbid about it. Stormy Daniels’ Hot Lawyer. My ability to get all snot-nosed emotional in the presence of love. 3+1.
Seems: Like Nature takes, but having is also a seeming. Like as soon as someone dies, the furniture has to all go back to the way it was before. Like I’ve stopped taking care of myself but will start again any day now. Like my importance as a son is now magnified as the one who is still alive. 4.
Three Questions:
“What if I made this Easy?”
“What about this is REHAB?”
“What if I made this Important?”
I am embracing the beauty of nature. (There is nothing wrong.)
Thinking about: What a good space it’s been to be embracing the beauty of nature. How odd it has been to be in a text group with all my aunts and uncles and how we will likely dismantle it until the next time someone is dying.
On-purpose ways of being: Courageous, radical, confronting and enchanted with forgiveness, peace, freedom and unconditional love in the background always.
Accomplished: Got up out of bed. Had 2 cups of coffee. Texts to seven. This.
Q for April: What did you do to generate fun today?
My Answer: Today? I’m just getting started. I am the possibility of fun and I see french fries in my future!
Video: https://youtu.be/gJoRjwUyZUE
Watched: My funny little brother gracefully die after giving all he had trying to stay alive. My parents trying to be with it. His girlfriend trying to be with it. His children trying to be with it.
May return to Reading: “Sovereignty” by Ryan Michler.